Finding my Nerve

We all see them every day:  Life lessons condensed into a sentence or two with colorful backgrounds on Instagram, Facebook and Tumbler. One evening, I returned for a second glance to one that grabbed my attention..

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It’s no secret that I admire J.K. Rowling.  She is an inspiration to many, and I’m intrigued by her story: once a single mom on government assistance and currently, her wealth surpasses the Queen of England.

 Although I am fortunate that I have not been on government assistance, I do know what it’s like to have to dig deep emotionally as a single mom. I get up most mornings at 4:30 to make sure that I have planned out dinner for the evening and that things are in good order around the house.   I leave for work before 6:30, and by 7:30, I am teaching sleepy-eyed sixth graders.  I work all day, teach yoga, take yoga to deepen my practice, and come home to offer support to a sometimes stressed-out junior in high school, clean up, and get ready for the next day.   There’s laundry, dishes, and cleaning.  There’s a big house that sometimes has repairs beyond my limited understanding. There are two teenagers who depend on my strength and energy.   It’s not always easy, but it is what it is. 

 I’ve had some moments this past year where I have really come to terms with what I want in my personal and professional life. I can no longer hang my hopes on my late husband’s songs.  For years, I really believed that with enough perseverance, all the years of sacrificing for the music would pay off.   The beautiful music is still there, but I stopped trying to get the songs into the hands of someone who might record them.   It’s simply out of my hands, and I am actually at peace with it.   I am in my twenty-fifth year of teaching, and we all know how teaching pays.  I needed to find a way to supplement my income.   I wasn’t ready for a complete career change, but I know that by my nature, I am a giver.  Whatever it is that I do with my life has to be of service to someone. 

 I did some soul searching as I tried to plan out the rest of my life.  What did I need?  What did I know?  What had I learned?  Where had my past experiences taken me and how could it help guide me to my next path?   Everything came together about a year ago.  For once in my life, I felt like I had complete clarity and knew what I had to do.

 Here’s what I know.  I have been able to pick myself up and heal physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I have been able to be present for my children to support them, care for them and nurture them.   I spend very little time feeling sorry for myself (unless there is mouse in the garage) and have learned that I am capable of a lot more than I ever thought I was.  How?  I attribute a lot of it to my healthy lifestyle, yoga and short daily meditations.  

My website is peacefulplaceonline.com. The first page has a short video to tell potential subscribers my story and what my hopes are for this site.  There are streaming videos of power vinyasa, the type of yoga I enjoy and teach,  a flow then slow yin class with long stretches, perfect for athletes and runners, and a class with light weights and intense core work.  If you are new to vinyasa yoga, there is one on basic alignment.   I filmed restorative yoga for people who need a gentler yoga and who are regaining their strength.   This portion of the site is where I hope to really grow as I reach out to the cancer community to give people going through treatment or those who are regaining their strength after treatment.   I have audio guided meditations which I wrote for anxiety, sleep problems, forgiveness, gratitude, chemotherapy, healing and more. There is a section of guided meditations for adolescents and teenagers as they deal with the stresses of school, peer pressure and friendships. There is also a link to taking a basic health assessment and to get on the best supplements for your own family history and lifestyle.  I swear by these supplements in helping me feel my best and to look my best. 

If you use this promotional code over the next month, BEGIN, you can get a rate of $6 a month with no long-term commitments.  A few pointers:  update your computer to the latest version of your internet browser (Google Chrome is free and is what the video was first created for in mind).  There is mobile site to access the content from your ipad or smart phone.  If you have an iphone you will want to make sure you go in to Settings<Safari<Block Cookies<Never.  

 I have a long term vision for this site. I want to film video for kids and teenagers with special needs and on the autism spectrum and to write meditations with their needs in mind.   I plan to film video for soldiers recovering from PSD.   I am in the process of writing special meditations for cancer patients and caregivers.  As the business grows, so does my ability to film more high definition video to reach many people.   However, I have to start somewhere, and I’m hoping if you read this, that you will join me to get this business going, and that you will share with people who you know would benefit from this.  You can email me at sarah@peacefulplaceonline.com to get special rates for cancer patients, soldiers and even school teachers but feel free to share the code BEGIN to give everyone you know a low rate.   Share on facebook, and email your friends and family to help me get started.  Thank you! 

I liken this feeling today as I get ready to publicly launch Peaceful Place to that feeling I had when Tony told me we could take Aaron home from the hospital after five days in the ICU.  I remember crying as he just stared at me, slack-jawed, not understanding why I didn’t want to take Aaron home from the hospital.   How was I going to take care of this baby?  What if I dropped him on his head?  What if I couldn’t feed him and he starved to death?  What if Aaron ended up as a student at UVA? (OH, Yes! That did happen :))

 What if this site doesn’t help anyone as it is intended?  What if I am a complete failure at running a business?   What if I can’t find balance and juggle my teaching job and this? When I have these doubts in my head, I think back to where I’ve been (the short little girl who cried easily and lacked confidence) to where I am now, still physically small but a tiny warrior.  Somehow I found the nerve. I’m only a little scared.   Let’s do this.

 

 

 

 

 


One comment

  1. ” What if this site doesn’t help anyone as it is intended? What if I am a complete failure at running a business? What if I can’t find balance and juggle my teaching job and this?”

    Let’s go with those fears…

    What if this site doesn’t help anyone as it is intended? —So then it helps folks you didn’t intend to help.

    What if I am a complete failure at running a business? —So then you’ll focus on the yoga and the ideas and the purpose and you’ll partner with or hire someone else to do the business running.

    What if I can’t find balance and juggle my teaching job and this? —“Balance” isn’t exactly realistic, not everything requires equal time and attention all of the time. Sometimes one will require all of your focus, in which case the other will wait a beat until you’re able to return. And you will. Your heart is in both places and, just like with your children and just like with your friends, even when one needs you more for a bit of time, it doesn’t mean you’re neglecting or not worthy of the other.

    The real truth, Sarah, is that your heart is giant. The number of hours in the day or the physical exhaustion prevent you from saving the planet single-handedly, but it doesn’t mean you’re not capable of every truly awesome thing you put your mind to. Because you are.


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